A FEW THOUGHTS

We waited, it came and it went.. the christmas. Once again we have managed to prepare ourselves for christmas by endless shopping, decorations, baking, cooking, eating and drinking. I think christmas is great.. but it’s great when its over as well. Writing this on christmas day is of course with reference to our tradition as we celebrate christmas eve on the 24th of December, not celebrating christmas day the 25th. Christmas day, for me, is more about walking around in pajamas all day long eating cookies and left overs from yesterdays dinner. Today we also managed to get out for a quick exercise walk. It felt good.

Looking in retrospect to our traditions I can not disregard the some of the other, maybe negative, sides of christmas too. Although I most of the time enjoy christmas, and enjoy the tradition of it, it is also the time when someone feels left outside, is left outside, some sit home alone, someone is drinking their way through christmas and someone just don’t want to be a part of it at all. All this both to the neglect, sorrow and despair of other family members. There are familes where the bonds are strong and even stronger after their christmas celebration. There are families where the bonds are strong all year through but is hurting through christmas because they feel the everlasting stress and tension of keeping everything perfect and everybody content. There are families where the bonds are not as strong and where christmas is turned into tense feelings on “why bother in christmas when we don’t meet rest of the year”. And there are people without families or without contact with their families. I don’t think it is any secret which category we all want to be in, and I am sure there are other “categories” as well.  The common denominator is often one of these: Family. Parents. Depression. Inheritance settlements. Alcoholism. Drug abuse. Shame. Guilt. Reasons can be many, but the christmas being the time for everybody to enjoy themselves and have a good time, all the time, can maybe be that extra burden that someone doesn’t need. Christmas is a strong reminder of everything you wish were different.

We are experts in shopping, eating and drinking. We are experts in following medias promotions of traditions, customs and habits. We are experts in promoting how happy we are and how successful we are. And we are unfortunately also experts in looking the other way.

How good are we really at taking care of our own? How good are we at asking our next man how he really is doing? Have we learned how to forgive? Have we forgotten about the important things and the message of christmas? Did we learn it in the first place? What did we learn? I wish I could come up with a brilliant answer to all these questions, or some theory of humanity and mankind that would explain why things are the way they are. Why is not christmas just a enjoyable and easy holiday? Why all these thoughts? Why do he/she make everything so difficult?

Whether trouble is related to friends, aunts or uncles or your parents – you can be quite sure the situation is not very different across at your neighbour across the street, your co-worker or your friend. We all got them! So why are we so afraid of this? Why do we struggle to keep up appearance? I can see somebody is about to mention the argument of passing on good traditions and values to our children. But shouldn’t that be an all-year exercise? You don’t think your children wonders about why auntie Marge is hammered and depressed through every christmas dinner, or why their father is quiet throughout the christmas? Why not tell them instead of sweeping it under the rug? Let them later make their own traditions instead of trying to keep up with Marge. And why not try to confront our issues sometime between January and November instead of piling it up for the Grand Finale on christmas eve or day?

I wish everybody a merry christmas and a lovely new year, even aunt Marge who really is quite nice. I hope we next year may take a bit better care of eachother. Both our children and parents - disregardless of your age.